i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
