Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
