I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
