so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
