We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
