But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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