ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
