saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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