is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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