Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
