your parents love me but you hate me
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Every concussion has its silver lining
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
