Porn is love you can see.
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
