She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Randomize
