Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
