I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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