thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
