she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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