apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
