he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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