and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
