We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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