i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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