I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
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Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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