We won't sleep together?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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