K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
