i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
