Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
