When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
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I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
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Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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