some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize