Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize