it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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