Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
