So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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