Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
