He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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