Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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