walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
