Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
