DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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