she woke up with a sticky ear
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
