I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
