Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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