isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
