A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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