I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
