D3 body, D1 cock
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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