he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We left the knife in your bed.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
