I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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