the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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