You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
