What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
