$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
