just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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