So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
