Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
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I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
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At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.