I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.