marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.