Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me

Fav 37 1030 3261
share tweet
(785): View more from Kansas

Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.

Fav 26 3947 981
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(712): View more from Iowa

He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!

Fav 15 934 5514
share tweet
(415): View more from California

You kept trying to hail an ambulance

Fav 2 3903 1273
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(520): View more from Arizona

New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.

Fav 9 2414 986
share tweet
(619): View more from California

Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.

Fav 5 1146 3423
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+61): View more from Australia

You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.

Fav 2 2318 1122
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(205): View more from Alabama

At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low

Fav 1 417 349
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him

Fav 1 9 16
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT