i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize