Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize